Fifth Post From Prior Blog

Dear readers,

Here we go again! As always, I hope this finds you well and/or gives you some motivation to keep on going! 

So many revelations/realizations have been bestowed upon me in the past two years since I wrote, from my journey in motherhood to being a first-generation minority and living. 

  Your past trauma/person(s) is not what defines you it's how you choose to navigate this world knowing what you know. It’s easy for most of us to say, “This is all I know,” and leave it at that without attempting to reflect openly and taking accountability where applicable. 

For me “all that I knew” consisted of fabricating things to make myself and/or others feel better or seem better than what is. I encourage you to seek the unknown, be open to the process of evolving, and let things go that simply aren’t serving you.

For beginners, referring to my past post on my upbringing, as I watch my kids grow (which btw is insanely quick), the more unraveling of things that I have yet to really dig through and grow through. As humans, we don’t necessarily like to be in the wrong or at fault, but to be honest, for most of my children’s upbringing, which, as you know, is not much, I have caught myself repeating cycles that were “all I knew". Having low tolerance and being very moody with my own children and, to an extent, it's OKAY because you’re only human. We get overstimulated, we get tired and hungry, and the stress of everyday life has a way of showing up in how we really act behind closed doors. But my frustrating moments happen more often than I'd like. 

    My very supportive husband has witnessed the depths of my darkness that have come to light, however, rather than ridiculing me and bringing me down he listens and shows compassion for what I've been through and reminds me that I am no longer there. But what really does it, ladies and gents, is that he has come to show me new ways of upbringing and simply letting kids be kids…not saying I have it all down, but I am saying how I am becoming more self-aware of how and who I want to be.

As you may witness I am “always cheerful, positive, and happy per se” but trust me most days I only project what I wish to feel for myself. It is as if I am in survival mode 24/7, so there is no time for play…put in the work to be the best human you can be, and swallow your pride because none of us are perfect I promise you that so as much as you would like to project so; just know the biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves.

On that note, my friends, till my next post! Hope this helps

xoxo