Third Post From Prior Blog

Dear readers,

 Thank you for bringing yourself here today and may YOU ALL be blessed with happiness, love, self-confidence, curiosity and strength to conquer it all. Unanticipated events in life, one way or another, are bound to occur—so take this as a gentle reminder to “let that s^*t gOo” and appreciate your loved ones right here, right now. Life’s too short to be caught in a web of emotions on what could’ve been said and done…look at where you are now and differentiate habits you might want to work on as we constantly evolve. 💗⭐

    Today’s post will consist of my early childhood sexual abuse (I was about 4-5yrs old) at the hands of a caretaker son whom at the time, was in his late teens, and how it has shaped me as a person but now, most importantly as a mother—I find it crucial that I share this with you because to preach about self-evolvement, I feel as though you should know where it stems from. I have neglected this for most of my life, and looking back, it is the reason why I was the way I was growing up, which included promiscuous teenage years, drinking at an early age, depression(which was undiagnosed at the time), eating disorders,  lack of self-esteem, failed relationships, self-harm, trust issues, agitated behavior and so on. It has been no walk in the park to go through the distressing memories that have been buried away in the depths of my soul as they are triggered now more often than before as I am watching my two little girls grow before my eyes and wish that they don’t endure any type of trauma. Unfortunately, wishing isn’t going to cut it; therefore, this is why I accentuate this one rule of thumb--to keep their hands to themselves!! As well as educating them regarding their bodies e.g. which areas are not up for grabs—regardless of the person(s) relation (same rule applies VICE VERSA)—and, NO is NO. 

    Keeping it PG/Real simultaneously has been hard yet fruitful as I have seen that I have set the foundation regarding consent and am helping build their confidence to speak up regardless of any given situation. As a kid, you’re in a world with no control over your surroundings, which can be frustrating; therefore, by teaching them about their bodies and informing them it is okay to speak up on behalf of it—you’re letting them get a grasp of control (which btw, they’re entitled too). We tend to stray away from having these sorts of discussions as parents and as a society because we feel they are too young and/or it won’t happen however the staggering fact of the matter is that 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys are victims of child sexual abuse before age 18 (Lauren Facts and Stats https://laurenskids.org/awareness/about-faqs/facts-and-stats/)  so I say LET'S TALK ABOUT IT…

    Additionally, it takes time, patience, willingness, and consistency with yourself to heal old wounds that were never properly dealt with. I mention willingness because as you open dark chapters of your life you need to be willing to see how it impacts your present self without holding judgments (or impacted you in the past by recollecting past behaviors); you’ve done all you could to survive and/or all you knew…let’s not dwell on the past as we’re not there anymore, let's focus on now and where we wish to go all while learning to love ourselves through it all. Being human is exhausting, but we can find ways to manage 💖